When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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