You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
