don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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