You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
wow bdsm is so cute
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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