i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
