After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
