Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
