I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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