Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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