Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
high people should be assigned attendants
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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