I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I supernannyed him into submission
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
