the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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