the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
