oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So many bounce houses so little time
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
