Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
