This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
