I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
