I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
