if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
