Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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