Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
