Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
