He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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