a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
