and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
