You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
