When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
