chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your cock deserves a montage
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
