Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
