11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
