Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
