its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
