The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
