Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
