Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
