I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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