It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
