Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Found the puke drawer
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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