i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
