I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
