all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
