her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
