we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
...so i touched it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
