try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
