My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
