yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
