I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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