Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
