Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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