You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I could fuck to npr.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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