Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
