She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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