well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
